Should you give up on a prospect who went silent?
Not yet. Stop sending the same kind of message, though. Four unanswered check-ins tell you the check-in isn't working. They don't tell you the deal is dead. Change what you send, change who you send it to, and set a date to close the file.
Silence has a cause, and it is not always on their side. Chris Voss, the former FBI kidnapping negotiator who founded the Black Swan Group, puts it bluntly in a December 2023 article on no-oriented questions: "There are two reasons people stop communicating: You're not listening to them. They lost influence on their side of the table." Both have fixes, and neither is a fifth reminder.
The second reason is common when you deal with one person. Gong Labs' analysis of multi-threading (October 2019, updated March 2026) drew on more than 10 million sales conversations and 500,000 sales emails from Gong's users. Winning deals involved 8 people on the buyer's side by email on average; losing deals involved 3. That is a correlation in Gong's customer data and doesn't prove that adding contacts wins deals, but it is consistent with a single quiet contact stalling a deal.
The same pattern shows up in large deals. In a January 2026 r/Entrepreneur thread, one poster described an $8 million real estate deal: a month of quick replies, a stated plan to move forward that week, then four unanswered calls over two days. One commenter's advice was an email or message, then treat it as lost until they reply. That is close to the plan below, with one more step: a second person.
Why do interested prospects go quiet?
Because their priorities, their power or their information changed, and you weren't told. Each cause calls for a different message.
| What may have happened | Where this comes from | What to send |
|---|---|---|
| They lost influence inside their company, or the project slipped down the list | Black Swan Group, December 2023 | A no-oriented question; then a second contact |
| Your contact switched jobs or went on leave without telling you | Gong Labs' multi-threading article, which gives both as examples | A note to a colleague who knows the project |
| They are comparing your quote with others | One commenter in an April 2025 r/sales thread on quotes | A question about their decision, not about the quote |
| Your quote is one part of a larger review that takes a week or two | A procurement buyer in the same thread | Nothing yet; one dated check after two weeks |
| They agreed to talk to end the conversation | One commenter in an April 2026 r/sales thread on ghosting | A close-the-file message |
| They raised a concern you didn't address | Black Swan Group: you're not listening | A short summary of their situation, in their words |
The ghosting thread gives a rough range, from individual commenters: the most upvoted said 1 or 2 of every 10 meetings they set; another said 20 to 30%, half of whom reschedule while the rest were never really interested; one more put it at about a third of meetings at startups and about 5% at a publicly traded company. All are single anecdotes from different markets.
What should you send after four unanswered follow-ups?
Send a message where no is the comfortable answer. Four yes-or-no check-ins have failed; a question that is easy to decline gives them an easy way to reply.
The Black Swan Group's December 2023 article recommends asking whether someone has given up on the project, in place of asking whether they are still interested, for anyone who has stopped responding. Its guide to persuasive email (first published October 2018, updated August 2020) suggests the same idea as a subject line, with examples such as "Have you given up on our deal?" The December 2023 article adds two rules. It only works if they had started something, because nobody can give up on a project they never began. And when they reply, sum up their perspective until they agree you have it right.
Several commenters in the April 2025 r/sales thread warned against messages that only say you are following up or checking in, and one suggested a version of the close-the-file message, asking whether to proceed or close the file. For more wording, see our follow-up email templates. If the answer comes back as a no, our guide to replying to a not-interested answer covers what to say.
How do you reach a second person without going over their head?
Write to someone who will care about the problem for their own reasons, and mention your original contact by name. You are adding a thread, and you don't want your contact to hear about it second-hand.
Gong's article gives a useful tip for finding that person. Don't ask your contact who is involved in the decision, which they may hear as a question about who has to sign. Ask instead who decided to buy the tool yours would replace, or who made a similar purchase recently. Gong also reports that in winning deals the number of buyer-side people in the second meeting almost triples, while losing deals rarely get past one contact.
At a company of five people, the second person may be the founder. In that case, keep the note shorter still and lead with the outcome your contact wanted.
When should you stop following up?
About two weeks after the last of your four check-ins, if the three messages above get no reply. Then park the lead with a date, so it comes back to you instead of fading.
| Day | Action |
|---|---|
| 0 | Your fourth unanswered check-in |
| 3 | The no-oriented question, in the same thread |
| 7 | A note to a second person at the company |
| 14 | The close-the-file message |
| 14 | Snooze the thread to return in 60 to 90 days |
| 60 to 90 | One message with something new, or nothing |
The intervals are our suggestion; no study sets them. Gmail's snooze feature removes an email from your inbox and brings it back to the top on the day you choose, which is enough for a solo founder. A CRM task does the same job. Siela's built-in CRM keeps each lead with the reason it was picked, which helps when you reopen a quiet deal months later and need to remember why you wrote.
This is a different problem from cold follow-up counts, where nobody has said yes yet. For those, see our guide to how many follow-up emails to send.
How do you stop warm leads from going quiet next time?
Leave every conversation with a dated next step already in both calendars. That single habit came up again and again in the April 2025 r/sales thread: one commenter ends every proposal meeting by asking when to call for the answer, then sends a calendar invite, and others said to schedule the next step every time. Several also said to walk through a quote on a call instead of emailing it and waiting.
- Name a time. Gong Labs' study of 304,174 emails (May 2020, updated March 2026) found that once a deal is under way, an ask with a specific day and time works best, and says meetings booked go from 15% at the cold email stage to 37% at the deal stage, without saying what the percentages are measured against.
- Ask about timing as a no-oriented question. The Black Swan email guide suggests asking whether a follow-up date is too late, for example whether Friday is too late, so the other side is more likely to follow through.
- Meet two people before the proposal. If only one person has seen you, one sick day or job change can stop the deal.
- Agree what happens if things go quiet. One ghosting-thread commenter said they agree in advance what to do if the prospect doesn't show up.
Most of this starts in the first reply. Our guide to turning cold replies into booked meetings covers that step. If your outreach runs through Siela's AI SDR, its follow-ups stop when someone books, says yes, says no or asks to stop.
Frequently asked questions
Is four follow-ups too many for a warm prospect?
Not if they said they were interested, but four of the same message is enough. After the fourth check-in, change the message: ask a question that makes no an easy answer, write to a second person, then close the file about two weeks later. A warm lead has given you a reason to keep trying, and a reason to try differently.
What is a no-oriented question in sales?
It is a question where no is the comfortable answer, so the other person can reply without feeling committed. The Black Swan Group recommends questions such as asking whether someone has given up on a project, in place of asking whether they are still interested. It only works if they had started something with you.
Should you call or email a prospect who went silent?
Use both, briefly. Several commenters in an April 2025 r/sales thread said email is too easy to ignore and that a call is how you hear the real objection. One call and one short email that says the same thing is plenty. If neither gets an answer, move to the no-oriented question.
How long should you wait after sending a proposal?
Agree a decision date when you send it, then wait until that date. A procurement buyer in an April 2025 r/sales thread said a quote that is part of a larger review may not get a proper look for a week or two. Following up before the agreed date reads as pressure.
Is it rude to contact someone else at the company?
Not if you are open about it. Mention your original contact by name, give the new person a reason tied to their own role, and offer to share a short summary with both. In our view, going around someone quietly is what causes offence. Gong's data shows winning deals involve more buyer-side people than losing ones.
Sources
- The Black Swan Group (Chris Voss): Negotiation Training: The Top 4 No-Oriented Questions (19 Dec 2023)
- The Black Swan Group: How to Be More Persuasive Over Email (published 29 Oct 2018, updated 20 Aug 2020)
- The Black Swan Group: Chris Voss (checked 24 Oct 2026)
- Gong Labs: Why you need an army of champions in sales (multi-threading data) (published 30 Oct 2019, updated 6 Mar 2026)
- Gong Labs (Devin Reed): Surprising cold email CTA that increases meeting bookings (published 27 May 2020, updated 6 Mar 2026)
- Gmail Help: Snooze emails until later (checked 24 Oct 2026)
- r/Entrepreneur: $8M deal on the line - prospect went silent (21 Jan 2026)
- r/sales: What's the best way to follow up without sound desperate after sending a quote and not hearing back? (2 Apr 2025)
- r/sales: How often do you set a meeting and get ghosted? (10 Apr 2026)